Archive for the 'spirituality' Category

Did you ever feel like the stars had aligned to a single purpose one day but that you willingly cast your lot with the mean spirited? How do we know when a true opportunity has been placed in our path… or are there opportunities every day that we don’t see?

Yesterday I took a $5 coupon to Publix. The cashier forgot to subtract it from the total bill, so she simply gave it to me in cash. That in itself felt odd, since I don’t carry cash. I figure if I get into a spot that my bank card and American Express can’t get me out of… well, then I’m probably done for, anyway.

So I stuffed the $5 bill into my pocket and left.

In order to leave Publix’s lot, I pulled up into the line of cars at the traffic light… and saw a man with a small sign. He looked horrible and was wearing obviously cast off clothing. Sporting longish, dirty, graying hair and beard, his sign said something about being a homeless Vietnam vet.

Thing is, I never carry money, but I had FIVE dollars. Thing is, there’s never been a homeless person asking for money in that spot in my six year history here. Thing is, I strongly felt that I should give him the money. It hit me like a lead weight to the solar plexus.

But I didn’t. Too many years of caring for the homeless close to home. Too many scams, too many secrets revealed.

So why am I obsessing about it now? Because I still think I should have given him the money. If I go back, he won’t be there. My opportunity is gone. It doesn’t matter whether or not he was ‘for real’. All that matters is the fact that I ignored my instincts in favor of a more sensible, realistic approach.

Maybe that was the point. The post encounter angst? I’m rationalizing again, aren’t I? Damn.

For me there has always been a parallel between pulling weeds and spirituality. I don’t know if it’s the simplicity of the act itself or because I relax so thoroughly during the exercise.

I pulled scads of weeds yesterday afternoon and it was like breathing: Good in, bad out. Good in, bad out. Not trying to pull the majority, I focused on certain areas and made them free of weeds. I tolerate weeds well in some areas, such as the lawn. Then there are the places where no weed should be, like the cultivated rock gardens.

There are some places in our heart where bad should never be found… and once there should be excised immediately. That kind of weeding is best done humbly, in prayer.

Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God.
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.