Wide brimmed would be best.

While I am thankful for many things… including, but not limited to my family, friends, fellow bloggers, the food I eat, the bed I sleep in and the brave men and women in the military who make it all possible… I’m not thankful at all for my newly blonde hair.

The box said light ash brown.

They lied.

What am I doing coloring my hair on Thanksgiving, anyway? Well, nuking a Stouffer’s turkey dinner takes little to no effort; what else was I supposed to do?

Grief is a funny thing; it takes many forms and causes multiple symptoms. The effects of loss can be seen and felt in our behavior, health and even cognitive reasoning. Flatly stated, it knocks us on our butts, sometimes for extended periods of time.

Of course, one can feel loss over almost anything…. from a missed phone call to the death of a loved one. The only differentiation being the time it takes to go through the stages of grief and recover.

I’ve been thinking about loss a lot lately, probably because I just lost something I thought I had. No need to grieve, then, right? Wrong. You can even feel the loss of something that never was. A memory, a long held dream. The people who have been making money with online trading could tell us some stories about loss.

You can grieve for people you’ve never known or a dead dog by the side of the road. We’re a compassionate people and our capacity for sympathy knows no bounds.

I guess what I’m getting at is: my poor sister-in-law, who just lost her older Rottie to cancer… found out today that her 5 year old Rottie girl Skye has cancer as well.

And I’ve already started grieving, though she might not pass for up to a year. Preemptive pain.

Just a picture of Bree lounging while -once again- I tried to make the bed. Sorry about the toilet in the background… but at least there are no shampoo bottles, tubes of acne cream or worse showing. I know you’re thinking about the worse now; it’s only human nature. But would I do that to you?

See that slight roll of flesh on the side she’s laying on? I love that little roll.

It’s a darkish, rainy day. Arthur is at a weather seminar for pilots, and Bree and I are taking it easy. I’m not turning on the tv at all. Might even play the Sims; it’s been about a month since I visited with them. Later on I’ll take out the mess I made with chicken in the crock pot and see if it can be saved. If not, there’s a Chinese place around the corner that delivers.

Peace. I want peace today. Hope you grab some of that for yourself, as well. Someone I once knew ended every conversation with ‘peace’. I think the older you get and the more you experience, the more you need some inner peace. I may understand a little better where she was coming from now…

I miss my Mommy. Not the Mom of my teens and adulthood, the Mother I couldn’t seem to understand until it was too late. No, I want my Mommy. Especially when I’m sick, and I imagine myself a little girl again, curled up on her lap. That just makes everything better.

As a food lover, I miss her cooking intensely; fried chicken, mashed potatoes, meat loaf, pork chops, pot roast… Mac and cheese. She made macaroni and cheese from scratch, with cheddar cheese and milk and butter and pepper. I want that today, so bad. Can’t find a comparable recipe, tho.

Not surprising that I was a chunky monkey until high school when I decided to stop eating more from revolt and inward demons than any peer pressure. Nobody cooks like my Momma, which is what I called her. Even now the word scores a direct hit on my heart.

Like other stupid children I almost blamed her for cooking those delicious meals that made me fat. As if I were the only person she cooked for. As if I couldn’t stop eating.

I told you I never wanted to grow up. And unfortunately I don’t think I ever really did. I wish I had it to do over again.

Not blood of my blood, but heart of my heart. Momma.

Kim’s sweet picture of Abby at What’s That Smell reminded me of Tonie and her two at Disney.

Everyone must have been exhausted, but the kids just collapsed. I love that look on Tonie’s face…

I don’t have a scanner so had to take a picture of it. Yuk. Still love it.