Archive for the 'Family' Category

Just a picture of Bree lounging while -once again- I tried to make the bed. Sorry about the toilet in the background… but at least there are no shampoo bottles, tubes of acne cream or worse showing. I know you’re thinking about the worse now; it’s only human nature. But would I do that to you?

See that slight roll of flesh on the side she’s laying on? I love that little roll.

It’s a darkish, rainy day. Arthur is at a weather seminar for pilots, and Bree and I are taking it easy. I’m not turning on the tv at all. Might even play the Sims; it’s been about a month since I visited with them. Later on I’ll take out the mess I made with chicken in the crock pot and see if it can be saved. If not, there’s a Chinese place around the corner that delivers.

Peace. I want peace today. Hope you grab some of that for yourself, as well. Someone I once knew ended every conversation with ‘peace’. I think the older you get and the more you experience, the more you need some inner peace. I may understand a little better where she was coming from now…

I miss my Mommy. Not the Mom of my teens and adulthood, the Mother I couldn’t seem to understand until it was too late. No, I want my Mommy. Especially when I’m sick, and I imagine myself a little girl again, curled up on her lap. That just makes everything better.

As a food lover, I miss her cooking intensely; fried chicken, mashed potatoes, meat loaf, pork chops, pot roast… Mac and cheese. She made macaroni and cheese from scratch, with cheddar cheese and milk and butter and pepper. I want that today, so bad. Can’t find a comparable recipe, tho.

Not surprising that I was a chunky monkey until high school when I decided to stop eating more from revolt and inward demons than any peer pressure. Nobody cooks like my Momma, which is what I called her. Even now the word scores a direct hit on my heart.

Like other stupid children I almost blamed her for cooking those delicious meals that made me fat. As if I were the only person she cooked for. As if I couldn’t stop eating.

I told you I never wanted to grow up. And unfortunately I don’t think I ever really did. I wish I had it to do over again.

Not blood of my blood, but heart of my heart. Momma.

Kim’s sweet picture of Abby at What’s That Smell reminded me of Tonie and her two at Disney.

Everyone must have been exhausted, but the kids just collapsed. I love that look on Tonie’s face…

I don’t have a scanner so had to take a picture of it. Yuk. Still love it.

Yesterday was our first shopping experience at BJ’s. Arthur had purchased a membership through his work and we’d been wanting to check it out. I can tell you this right now: we need a freezer. If you’re not used to buying in bulk, the huge packaging is daunting… but by the time we left I could see that we’d saved massive amounts of money and could have saved more if we only had an auxiliary deep freeze.

I unwittingly picked out my birthday gift. As soon as the doors opened, I walked straight to the electronics… and there it was, nestled between the Blu-Ray players and Nokia unlocked phones…

My new Fujifilm FinePix S1000fd. I couldn’t pass up the price at under 200. for a 10megapixel, 12x optical zoom, panorama shooting mode, etc… Frankly, I have no idea what most of the specifications mean; as long as it takes a great picture I’ll be happy!

This is my third Fujifilm and I can’t wait for the sun to come up so I can get out and take some pictures!!!

In a few days I’ll turn 51 and officially segue into my “50’s”. No wonder the pre-birthday funk has descended. Oh, I’m going quietly. No kicking and screaming this year. At some point one has to simply admit defeat in the face of time’s ravages. No cream made can counteract Mother Nature’s handiwork.

I believe this is the ‘acceptance’ phase of grief.

As usual, Arthur keeps asking what I want for my birthday and as usual I say ‘a card would be fine’. I don’t want a big fluffy teddy bear, handcrafted jewelry, a new camera or even a weekend getaway.

I want another dachshund. I’ve been telling myself that one dog is enough, but finally come to the realization that I need another one. There has been a dachshund in my life for 45 years; my life does not feel complete without one.

The search begins.