Archive for the 'current events' Category

…and some suck.

I don’t know why I can’t seem to post anything without including a picture as well.

My head is pounding and since I indulged in some sugar laden pudding for lunch, acid reflux is the name of the latest tune being played in my esophagus. I just took Benadryl, Motrin and Mucinex in an effort to feel better.
The way I look at it, at least I’m not wearing disposable diapers yet.

A guy held the door open for me at Pet Supermarket today and for the first time in my life it felt like it was because I was old.

Not a good day.

I just received this bit of news in email, and though I feel for the affected gentleman and his neighbors… I nearly fell off my chair laughing; it’s got that touch of the surreal I find hilarious.

An Austrian man is demanding substantial damages after he was blasted off the toilet when huge hailstones started shooting out of it.

Martin Bierbauer said: “I heard the pipes rumbling a bit, and suddenly hailstones the size of golf balls started exploding out of the toilet like it was a popcorn machine.

“There was an avalanche of ice that quickly filled the toilet, then the entire flat, and eventually the entire building.

“I ran down the stairs with the hailstones following me, and other residents did the same.”

I don’t know who he’s going to sue… God? Okay, that’s the funny answer. I’m sure whoever built or manages the building will be served sometime soon.

Maybe it’s because I have IBS, but I can almost relate to the Kansas woman who has become stuck on her boyfriend’s toilet after remaining there for two years.

Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was “somewhat disoriented,” and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

“She said that she didn’t need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave,” he said.

We all know what happens after sitting on the porcelain god for long periods of time: blood flow is cut off to the legs. Hers had ‘atrophied’.

And that toilet had not been cleaned in two years.

I hope she gets some psychiatric help… and I hope someone beats the hell out of her boyfriend.