Highway to Hell
Introducing the Gaping Maw, a high speed highway straight to Lucifer’s furnaces.
I’ve never cleaned an oven before. In.my.life. And I’m 51. It’s not like it’s on my bucket list, either. I avoided the unpleasant task in the past by moving quite a bit or having an enterprising roommate.
I’ve just lived in this house too long and finally had to clean the thing… and no lie, I found myself praying. Like the Almighty has time for a shiftless woman with an aversion to filthy ovens! I pled. I bargained, though I’ve learned that sometimes those turn out like dirty little tricks played on oneself. I tried to cry, but found the fumes from the oven cleaner had fused my tear ducts closed.
If I make it through this, I promise to stimulate the economy by hiring someone else to clean this damn thing from now on!
If I don’t make it out alive, I want my pearls to go to Amber.
9 Responses
I didn’t want to admit it, but I did use a face mask and since it was a beautiful day the windows were open! LOL!
I’m bad, I know… 
But you did it! Yay! Is Amber disappointed about the pearls?
I love you so much for this post. Seriously. I know NO ONE who enjoys this. You just spell it out so perfectly for those of us that can’t.
Oh, and here’s a tip. Don’t hire someone. Long term solution..when it comes time to replace it, buy a self cleaning. Works like a charm. WITHOUT the fumes.
:-)
Carol: Well, she’s only 2, so she’ll get over it. LOL!
Tammi: It IS a self cleaning oven! I just learned that I prolly ruined it, though. EW. And the smell! Does that ever go away? 
I cleaned the toaster yesterday, too. You would have been proud of me! LOL! Fall just brings that out in me, though. Next time? New toaster!
I can only laugh! Sorry! I have not ever cleaned an oven before either! I wonder how it went. LOL…. Oh by the way Amber would love your pearls. LOL… She is so girly. LOL 
LOL! I know!
OMG. Seriously. You chemically cleaned a self cleaning oven?
OK.
Ok.
I….uhh…….
Ok.
I’ll ask Mama Vi if she thinks that ruined it. It may not have. And if she doesn’t know, I do have some contacts in the appliance mfg world…I can always make a call……
But yeah….please don’t do that again. ‘Mkay? 
So I ruined it? Ohhh… nooooo…. 
Oh, boy. I wish you luck. Even with a self-cleaning oven, it’s a gross, horrible job. Last time I did mine, I set off the smoke alarm because I’m pretty sure “self-cleaning” just means “burn the crud off.”
My advice? Face mask and open windows. Good luck!