I just wanted to thank the top Entrecarders who have dropped on me this month!

Thanks again, everyone!

…and some suck.

I don’t know why I can’t seem to post anything without including a picture as well.

My head is pounding and since I indulged in some sugar laden pudding for lunch, acid reflux is the name of the latest tune being played in my esophagus. I just took Benadryl, Motrin and Mucinex in an effort to feel better.
The way I look at it, at least I’m not wearing disposable diapers yet.

A guy held the door open for me at Pet Supermarket today and for the first time in my life it felt like it was because I was old.

Not a good day.

Not remotely like More Cowbell.

…or just because I don’t have anything else? Heh. A few of these are groaners…

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3 year old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I’ll show you a flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

A calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done

Me trying on swimsuits.
What? Trust me, it’s funny.

We had a tropical storm come through last week. Fay her name was, and she was a bit of a bully, throwing her weight around and blustering. Along about the second day of her histrionics I took the dog out for a quick refresher and my eye immediately went to this bit of vibrant color intruding on all the dark, soaked world. It was about as big as one of my freckles… and obviously hadn’t sprung from any of my plant life.

I had to snap a picture. You understand.

As for Chase, I found I didn’t need any promotional products. I simply gathered up my old statements, made a pile and burned them. Verra satisfying. OH, and I paid this month’s bill late. Again. It’s like I just can’t get this one right. Chalk up another late fee! Ugh.