Don’t expect me to stop writing about 51 until it passes; it has something to do with shock, and disbelief.

In preparation for my new ‘50 something’ life I’ve begun to work out again. I was in such bad shape that I couldn’t do a sit up! Lucky for me muscles have memory and though mine are in a terrible mood, they know what I ask of them is not beyond their abilities.

The Bowflex pictured above is the same model I have sitting in my Florida room. Know which part of it I use the most?? The bench. I’ve found that weight benches and a few free weights are more useful than the machine I spent $1,000 on.

Of course, I love the pulldowns on the Bowflex… but other than that have stopped using it and am actually thinking of putting it on Craig’s List.

Here’s the thing you should know if you’re thinking of buying a Bowflex, at least my model: all resistance is not the same. These rods provide a different kind of resistance than free weights and the machines at the gym.
Also, it sometimes takes more time and effort than one is willing to give to unhook, turn, restring, etc… things together to do different exercises.

Someone who is dedicated can take the time, though, since virtually every part of the body can be worked using one of these suckers. No, I’m not backpedaling, since I used to take the time…

In a few days I’ll turn 51 and officially segue into my “50’s”. No wonder the pre-birthday funk has descended. Oh, I’m going quietly. No kicking and screaming this year. At some point one has to simply admit defeat in the face of time’s ravages. No cream made can counteract Mother Nature’s handiwork.

I believe this is the ‘acceptance’ phase of grief.

As usual, Arthur keeps asking what I want for my birthday and as usual I say ‘a card would be fine’. I don’t want a big fluffy teddy bear, handcrafted jewelry, a new camera or even a weekend getaway.

I want another dachshund. I’ve been telling myself that one dog is enough, but finally come to the realization that I need another one. There has been a dachshund in my life for 45 years; my life does not feel complete without one.

The search begins.

See it full size on Flickr.

I had the most amazing dream last night; well deserved, after being woken up by Bree at 1:30a to go out! Maybe it was the oreo I ate before retiring… maybe the milk that I had with it… but I played a supporting role in a spy thriller!

You may be thrown by the ’supporting role’ part, but it felt so real that I had a virtually ineffective supportive part in the operation. I was a neophyte. In truth, it was like a fast moving episode of ‘24′ and the main character [who I fell for, of course] was an every changing chameleon, appearing first as Keifer, then Rock… and of course my husband.

Keifer Sutherland and Rock Hudson; that’s multigenerational, right there! Both so young they needed Proactiv acne cream, both just as cute as they possibly could be, under the circumstances.

The circs, as I remember them, are fading quickly. But we followed a terror cell around the world and we had to go through some odd things to avoid detection…

There is one detail I remember… standing in such a manner that my butt looked good in my slacks. In other words, I ‘aimed’ my nether regions at Keifer/Rock/Art. What a slut!

I went out to weed the crinum bed… and found a bud!

I had thought these suckers half dead… I guess not!

Go Wordless!!

I just received this bit of news in email, and though I feel for the affected gentleman and his neighbors… I nearly fell off my chair laughing; it’s got that touch of the surreal I find hilarious.

An Austrian man is demanding substantial damages after he was blasted off the toilet when huge hailstones started shooting out of it.

Martin Bierbauer said: “I heard the pipes rumbling a bit, and suddenly hailstones the size of golf balls started exploding out of the toilet like it was a popcorn machine.

“There was an avalanche of ice that quickly filled the toilet, then the entire flat, and eventually the entire building.

“I ran down the stairs with the hailstones following me, and other residents did the same.”

I don’t know who he’s going to sue… God? Okay, that’s the funny answer. I’m sure whoever built or manages the building will be served sometime soon.