Extermination
I rushed out the front door late last night, in a hurry on my mission as Arthur’s airport chauffeur. Nestled snugly in my purse, an ice cold can of cherry coke for my sure to be parched spouse; it has become tradition that I bring a can of what he calls the ‘life giving liquid’. Yuck. But, each to his own.
Sprinting for the truck, something stopped me, forcibly. A web. And even though I know I’m safe, sitting here in the house, many hours later… my stomach cramped up a bit when I typed ‘web’. I have an unnatural fear of everything spider, even more crippling than my utter revulsion of ‘palmetto bugs’, those huge roaches that fly at you. As Barney Fife once said about bats: they fly into your hair, lay eggs and you go crazy. I know it’s not true, but still.
So as soon as I hit what must have been a gigantic web built by mutant spiders bent on my annihilation, I freaked out and staggered back. It wouldn’t let me fall, but I backpedaled my butt out of there as soon as possible, dropped everything, including my purse with the coke and immediately commenced the spider dance, during which time Arthur called. I have no idea what he said and I’m sure he couldn’t have understood my garbled screaming.
Such was my distress that I had to go back inside, brush my hair and change my clothes! Now that’s neurotic… but it was freaky.
So this weekend I’m going to HD and pick up some Cutter Backyard and if that doesn’t work I’ll call one of the local bug franchises. They may have been here first, but I’ve got chemicals on my side. And I will win.
5 Responses
anialate the suckers! 
QW, no caffeine is as scary as spiders!!
Total annihilation is on the menu, Gwen.
That so reminds me of a story…when I lived in Orlando I had this great pool complete with cage and everything. SWEET! However, those 8 legged bastards always found a way in.
One day I was on the phone with Laughing Wolf when I spot what has to be either the bravest or stupidest spider that ever lived. It was danglin’ smack dab in the middle of the pool from the tippy top of the pool cage.
Of COURSE I completely freaked out. Didn’t matter that it was the size of a thimble. Didn’t matter that it was in the MIDDLE of the pool and I….was standing in the great room looking OUT. Oh no, NONE of that matter. What DID matter was that it invaded MY turf.
So….I did the only logical thing. I grabbed the hose, while still on the phone of course, and turned it on FULL blast and, while acommpanied to me scream, DIE SUCKER DIE!! and GET THE HELL OUTTA MY POOL CAGE!!!, (and of course LW’s laughter) I proceeded to blast that thing through the screened wall and heaven only knows where.
But it was out of MY cage. Oh yes it was……
Yeah, not so fond of spiders either. I’ll sit by you on this one!
Tammis last blog post..Lost….
I can so see you doing that, Tammi! Complete with screaming!!!!
Spider webs freak me the fuck out also, I always think they are in my hair and I keep batting at my hair to get them out, even hours later.
blech
Oh and when I was able to have caffene Cherry Coke was my most favoritist drink in the world. I miss it the most.