Archive for May, 2008
How to kill an Orchid
I live in south Florida, where anything can grow… and frequently does. Plants that serve as indoor ornaments up north grow outside down here; in fact ficus benjamina become huge trees that fall onto our houses when a hurricane hits, doing massive amounts of damage. We lost a ton of those trees in the last cane; probably a good thing, since everyone has a new roof now. Except me.
Anyway, I know two people here who grow orchids. Gardens full of the things; rows of them in pots and even more hanging. Each woman makes the tending of these exotic plants seem effortless. The common theme seems to be ‘just mist them once a day’.
Nothing is ever that simple.
Bras & Breast Cancer
In a highly contested study of only five thousand women, researchers found what they believe to be a connection between bras and breast cancer.
Singer’s center conducted a study involving five thousand American women, half had breast cancer.
They looked at past behavior, including how tight the bras were and how long the women wore them. Here’s what they found:
Women who wore a bra for 24 hours a day, had a 3 out of 4 chance of developing breast cancer.
If a bra is worn 12 hours a day, there was a 1 in 7 risk.
And women who didn’t wear a bra had about the same rate of developing breast cancer as a man.
“So what’s happening with the bra is that women are preventing the proper flushing of fluid and toxins out of their breasts,” said Singer.
Singer claims a bra is too constricting, interfering with the body’s lymphatic system.
This causes toxins to build up, eventually causing cancer.
“If you get rid of the bra, your breasts will finally be able to flush out the fluid,” said Singer.
Don’t burn your bra yet, as Singer’s data is largely dismissed by the mainstream medical community.
Singer sticks by his study, and is encouraging women to take off their bras for good, saying “there’s absolutely nothing good about bras, it’s completely a fashion accessory.”
I agree; I hate them. Except when I’m running. 
AMITIZA now for IBS-C
“IBS-C is a multi-symptom disorder and is one of the most common conditions seen by gastroenterologists,” said William D. Chey, M.D., primary investigator of the study, University of Michigan Health System.
“These data are important because they show that in studies, AMITIZA has demonstrated the ability to improve the overall symptoms reported by patients with IBS-C.”
Though the drug has been approved for chronic constipation since 2006, now IBS-C sufferers have the chance to try it…!
Bahama Mamas & Martha Stewart
Not ready to quit just yet, I had to check my Alcohoroscopes from Bits & Pieces.
Drinking Style
Leo likes to drink and dance — they’re often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they’re quite aware they’re darling — Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue — and perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo’s not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.
Trademark cocktails
Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, they often have a taste for the fruity — try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the next Manhattan. Their sense of drama lends itself to a kir royale, of course.
Drinking buddies
Ben Affleck, Gillian Anderson, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Debra Messing, Kevin Spacey, Martha Stewart, Andy Warhol
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I’d love a Bahama Mama, but wouldn’t care to drink it with ANY of the aforementioned people, except maybe Martha Stewart. I think I could learn a lot from Martha, like how to fold fitted sheets and make fondue from raisins.
The indignity of falling
There is something wholly undignified about taking a spill, however it happens.
As a rule, I don’t fall. Oh, in my younger years I was bucked off horses onto the ground, scraped off onto trees and subsequently fell and even had one horse fall over onto its back, narrowly missing crushing me, as I’d fallen first. Nowadays I fall off my blow up ball, but that’s on purpose as I’m usually rolling around the house on it, playing.
I’ve excellent balance, and these size 9 gunboats don’t hurt in keeping me upright.
But I went down hard yesterday, coming around the corner from the dining room into the Florida room. There was a bit of moisture on the tile and before I knew what was happening, the floor had risen to meet me in a most ungracious way. My left hip and elbow took the brunt of the impact and while I’m fine today, [I took 3 Advil directly after] the temporary loss of control stays with me. It’s what we all fear as we grow older: loss of control.
As soon as I hit, Bree came running to check on me -even though she was in the middle of dinner- and when I swore Arthur asked if I was okay. I told him that I’d fallen, and now I know the magic is gone. He didn’t even check on me.
The first five years -at least- that we were together I couldn’t even get a hangnail without the man rushing to my side. Made me feel precious to him. Now? It’s evidently too much trouble to get off the couch.
At least my dog loves me.