After four months of Antonia’s presence I feel like giving up. Maybe it’s the holidays; making nice around Christmas is an old family tradition. Whatever, I simply can’t work up to a decent mad at this time of the year.
I love her; she’s a sweet girl, incredibly easy to be around and very empathetic. All of the reasons I’ve been unhappy with her have grown solely out of her actions, not because of a deviant personality or aberrant behavior on her part.
We are financially strained and she does not help, instead the utility and food bills have gone up. She causes me extra work. I also have to take care of her cat.
None of these are cause for me to stop loving her or wanting to help her, though at this point it’s getting hard to focus on that…
At one point the stress was so bad I was drinking every night… but I haven’t had anything in over a week. I’ve wanted it, very badly. But I’m not turning into an addict at this late date.
A post without rage. The unusual does happen, but I wonder how often.
